| A guy's driving his brand new BMW along a deserted
highway late at night, so he decides to see how fast that
babay will go. He floors it and watches as the
speedomotor dial goes up to 90, 100, 110, 120. All of the
sudden, he notices flashing red lights in his rear view
mirror. He pulls over and stops, and a police car stops
right behind him. The cop gets out of the car, walks up
to the BMW's driver's side window. The cop says, "Look,
it's the end of my shift, it's Friday the 13th and I'm
really tired. I'll tell you what. If you give some reason
I've never heard before why you were driving so fast,
I'll let you off the hook." So the BMW driver thinks
for a minute and says, "Last week my wife ran off
with a cop. I thought you were bringing her back."
The cop responds, "Have a nice weekend." ////////////////////// One afternoon a young married women and her lover were lying in bed. He also happened to be her husband John's best friend. The phone rang and after answering the lover could hear her say, "fine, how is it going, good, great, see you then". When she hung up he asked her who it was. She replied, "that was John, asking how I was, said that he would be home tomorrow night, and what a good time he was having fishing with you." ///////////////////
A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself. "You don't have to let your wife bully you," he said. "Go home and show her you're the boss." The husband decided to take the doctor's advice. He went home, slammed the door, shook his fist in his wife's face, and growled, "From now on you're taking orders from me. I want my supper right now, and when you get it on the table, go upstairs and lay out my clothes. Tonight I am going out with the boys. You are going to stay at home where you belong. Another thing, you know who is going to tie my bow tie?" "I certainly do," said his wife calmly. "The undertaker."
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